Confession #2 - I Am...Forgiven

We hear it all the time "seventy times seven in one day". Usually when we hear it, a close friend or a church member is reminding us to stay calm and not lose our cool. However, they weren't the one that was just disrespected in an office meeting, lied on and defamed, cheated on by their significant other, or received the backlash for an event they took no part in. We talk about this area of forgiveness all the time. What about you forgiving yourself? Is it easier for you to forgive someone else before forgiving your own shortcomings?

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I've felt undeserving of certain things in life because of mistakes made in my past. These thoughts plagued my mind, "I can't possibly have this piece of happiness. I still deserve to be punished. Yes, I asked God for forgiveness, but I think I haven't suffered enough." Sound familiar? I'm willing to believe you've done it once or twice. Maybe you're still doing it now.

At times we judge ourselves too harshly. Or maybe we think of ourselves too highly and our mistakes humble us. Have you ever watched a news story about a crime committed and wondered, "How could someone EVER bring themselves to do something like that?" Perhaps you find yourself in the midst of gossip as someone recants the story of one of your fellow church member's shortcomings. Let's not pretend that it doesn't happen. Admittedly, we can become so detached that we believe we are above certain sins and shortcomings. When we do fall, it resonates a sense guilty because we knew better. We thought we were past this struggle in our lives. You've asked God to forgive you, but you still haven't forgiven yourself. Why?

"You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And let God do the rest." - unknown

Forgiveness is for you too. You can't change your past, but you can learn from it. You've secretly created a pity party in your head. You've set the table and invited your emotions, guilt, and fear to accompany you. It's not healthy. Until you clear the table, there is no room for happiness, joy, and peace. You may fool those around you with a plastered smile on the outside, but on the inside you're harboring guilt.

Grace and mercy go a long way. Don't let others make you feel bad about yourself because they witnessed your struggle through a tough season. You may not have known them when they experienced one of the hardest seasons in their life, but it gives them no right to judge yours. At some point, we have to stop putting our shortcomings on the scale and weighing them compared to others. We all fall. It's just important that we get back up.

You may think, "That's all well and good for something small but you don't know me and what I've done." You're right, I don't know and I don't need to know. That's between you and God. But there's a reason why God told you to cast your problems and not just hand them over. When you hand something to someone, you're holding on to the other end of it. When you cast it, you release it before it ever reaches their hand. You don't have the opportunity to play tug of war and potentially grab it back.

Feelings of guilt don't fade over night, but the process can begin tonight. You're commanded to forgive, forgiving yourself is included in that as well. Look yourself in the mirror and apologize.



~Eve