I Am...Eve. Confession #1

I am writing this blog out of pure obedience. For the next 30 days, I've been challenged to write about various topics. The topics include: pain, strength, peace, forgiveness, etc. Oddly, they are all things that affect me on a daily basis.

The Eve Diaries - I chose a name that didn't just personally identify me, but every woman. We all stem from Adam and Eve. We've all fallen short. We've all endured pain. We've all found strength and through it we gained peace. And somewhere down the line we learned to not only forgive others, but also ourselves.

I'm not an expert in anything really. I'm excellent at falling down, falling short, and getting back up again. Here I'll be 100% honest and try my best to refrain from hitting the backspace button in efforts censor myself. There were no backspace buttons for mistakes in life.

And here it is Confession #1: Highlight Reel





I used to have a bad case of looking at everyone else's Highlight Reel in life. I first heard the term from Heather Lindsey. She identified it as looking at everyone else's happy pictures on social networks and as a result starting to feel bad about your current position in life. Have you ever been there?

Everyone was getting engaged, married, new career, moving to a new state (even country), having babies, vacations, and the list goes on. However, I was still living back in my hometown, living with my mother post-grad, in a job I wasn't to keen of (but grateful) for, single with no prospects, my friends had all moved away, and everyday seemed to be on repeat. Admittedly, I knew their lives weren't perfect but they definitely seemed more entertaining and happier than me.

When I would catch up with friends, I literally dreaded the question, "What's new with you?" To my despise, the answer would always be, "Oh nothing." Why was my life continuously on repeat? Because I allowed it to be. One day a friend that was also single said, "You have to learn how to do things by yourself, I go out by myself all the time." Her and I were a few hundred miles apart and for the most part were in the same boat. . The following week I took her advice. I didn't wait on anyone to ask me on a date to see the latest movie. Shopping for things by myself became my therapy. Long drives with the windows down and the sunroof open, all while singing loud and off key, became my outlet to a stressful week at work.

Now, I won't lie to you. You'll still occasionally want the company of a man around. It's our human nature. But until then, you have to learn how to enjoy your own company. Are you someone you'd like to send your time with?

Back to the Highlight Reel. I eventually got off of all, yes ALL, social networking sites. I'm a person that values their privacy, but it also kept me from comparing my life to others.

Galatians 6:4-5

4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone,without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load. (NIV)

I will be honest I still have days where I wonder, "God when will I be next to have what I want? I'm always on the side line cheering everyone else on and I'm still sitting here with nothing on my list. What am I doing wrong and what do I need to do to correct it?" As much as my flesh doesn't want to admit it, I have everything that I need already. Their blessings don't make mine void. And when God sees fit, I'll reap what it is that He has in store for me. I did ask for His will and not my own. Oh boy, I didn't really know what that meant until now.

It's a learning experience. It may take fasting. Maybe it takes walking away from social media, turning off your cellphone at night, and not watching television. At times, they can be distractions and lead us to believe we need more, when the truth is God provides everything that we need. We're human. We never stop wanting. God created a Highlight Reel for you too. Sometimes you just have to go to a quiet dark room and wait patiently as you watch the film slowly develop in front of you.

~Eve