I didn't plan on being single. Somehow...someway, I became good at it. I mean really good at being single. I was so good at being single that people used to refer to me as "my one friend that's always single". There's nothing wrong with being single. I've learned a lot from my singleness, but I'll leave that for the end.
Over the years, I've been out on dates. Those dates would undoubtedly make for an amazing book if I compiled them. I've experienced a guy running through a heavily populated parking lot pretending to be an airplane while yelling, another guy that didn't talk for hours (literally) because he was nervous, and the infamous one that conveniently left his wallet at home once he had ordered the most expensive things on the menu and devoured them as though he entered himself into a pie eating contest. In case you're wondering, yes, this was all during my adult years.
I've had my long term crushes/interest that ranged from months to years. Unfortunately, yet fortunately, none of them blossomed into a relationship. In my spare time I read over a dozen relationship advice books, only to never be able to put the knowledge to use. Instead of being able to show him I that could Act Like A Lady, But Think Like A Man he gave me every sign that He's Just Not That Into You. At the end of the day, I was the common denominator.
If you didn't know, when you're still single after a certain age, you start getting THE QUESTIONS. If you are married and are reading this, please refrain from asking these questions to your single friends or family members. We literally despise them.
The Questions:
1. Why are you still single?
2. You do know your clock is ticking if you want to have kids, right?
3. Are there not any single men at your church?
4. Are you gay?
5. Do you think your standards are too high?
At times we dread going to family reunions and wedding receptions because we are bound to hear at least one of these questions if not all. Believe me, we know that time is ticking and we are aware of our single status. We file our taxes each year and check "Single". I get it, sometimes you don't know it comes off rude, but it does.
Our worth is not wrapped up in our martial status. Do some of us long to me married some day? Of course! But we have to respect God's timing. We now have a chance to work on ourselves. We can travel, develop a skill, babysit for our friends with children and husbands, at times our single friends live curiously through our dating experiences as we laugh over drinks while at dinner. We get away with not shaving our legs and curl up with a bowl of ice cream while sitting wide-eyed watching Scandal on Thursday nights.
I've learned to do things by myself and for myself. I'm embracing my quirkiness because it makes me who I am. And one day the right guy will fall in love with it too. The worst thing I could do is dive into a ministry I'm not ready for. Marriage is a ministry in itself. When God feels my future husband and I are both ready to minister to others together to glorify Him, you'll receive an invitation in the mail to celebrate the occasion with us. So if you really want to know why we're still single, you'll have to pray and ask God for that answer because we don't have it.
In the meantime just know we're not accidentally single, we're single on purpose, with a purpose.
~Eve
"We're single on purpose, with a purpose".
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