I'd Do It All Again

While on the phone, a friend of mine asked me a question that for once didn’t involve intense thinking. We were roommates in college. Her question to me was, “If you could go back and do college all over again, would you go back and do things differently?” Without hesitation, I responded, “No, I had fun in college. I did everything that I wanted to do and graduated on time. I have no regrets about college.” Admittedly, she stated that she would have gone out more and enjoyed her college experience.

I believe that it’s important for us to live it up while we have the chance to do so. One of the things I don’t ever want to do is look back on my life and regret the opportunities that I didn’t take. Now, I’m not saying I agree with being crazy and performing criminal acts or doing something that would compromise your spirituality. What I’m saying is, stop operating in fear. It’s okay to do something for yourself. It’s okay to call off work and enjoy the comfort of your own home. Mental health days can constitute as sick days. Just maybe it’s time to book that trip and set sail. What’s holding you back from taking that job opportunity in another state?

Often times we worry how things will look to other people. We don’t want to disappoint our family and loved ones. Our goals and dreams may be different from those in our closest circle. Our dreams at times may seem far-fetched. Not everyone will understand your longing to do something different. No, you’re not having a quarter life or midlife crisis. You just desire more and there is nothing wrong with that.

When I was younger, I always wanted to go to New York. I repeatedly asked my mother if we could take a trip there. She’s always say, “When we save enough money, we could go.” I knew that was a nice way of her saying, “No.” She didn’t have a desire to there. And I couldn’t force it upon her either. After years of hearing we’d go once we saved enough, I decided that I was going to go whether it was with someone or alone. The summer I received my first fulltime job, I booked a flight to New York and told my mother, “I’m going to New York in August! I booked my flight and hotel!” Nonetheless, she was shocked. She knew that I always wanted to go, it was the fact that I did it without making an excuse as to why I couldn’t. The reason I mention NYC often because it was the first time in my life I made a decision to do something I wanted on my own no matter what others thought about it.It was a turning point for me. 

I once sought out to write a book. I’d attempted to write one ever since I was in high school but never managed to get past chapter 2. As I got older, I realized it wasn’t just a phase, it was something that I wanted to pursue. Writing wasn’t a job, nor just a hobby. Writing is what made me feel alive. I told people that I was going to write a book and they gave me the, “Oh that’s great to hear!” phrase. I’m sure they’d heard people say it numerous times, but I knew that this time I would complete it. I’d already prayed about it. After three long years, I added the last word to the book and watched the pages print from my office desk printer at home. People were shocked that I’d actually finished. In some ways, so was I, but I’d committed to so many things and people and never committed to anything that was for 100% myself.

Now, I don’t have those regrets lingering over me. I don’t have to wonder “what if”. This time I know “what is”. It’s scary stepping out of the norm. Not everyone will agree with it nor will it benefit them. But how long are you willing to shell what may be a path to your God given purpose? Be honest with yourself. Are you living the life you want to live or are you living the life that is acceptable by the standards of those around you? You deserve to live without regrets.