It’s becoming harder to find something to write about these
days. My mind draws a complete blank. I’ve shared everything that I’ve felt and
have been feeling for the past couple of months. I’ve let you in on bits and pieces of my past, present, and
I guess, I’ll share with you my hopes for the near future.
Most times, I don’t like to talk about my expectations for
the future. Quite frankly, it rarely ever happens and I end up disappointed. I
learned this at a fairly young age. The less expectations, fewer the disappointments. Confession, it’s the reason why I’ve steered
clear of a couple of relationships in my past. I rather not have something than
to risk losing it or knowing that I will lose it soon. It’s my “glass half
empty” philosophy.
My Hopes for the Future
Eventually, I want to move out of my small town and into another area that is better and has more opportunity for me to grow career wise. I want to be able to realize what my God given purpose is and pursue it. I’d like to get married in a small courthouse ceremony in late spring. I thought I’d be married by the age of 27. Well we all know how that played out. I’ve definitely missed that mark and I’m still single. I’d like to be financially stable with quite a bit of cushion (a healthy savings account). A townhouse or three bedroom condo would be nice. I’m not a big fan of huge houses especially since I don’t want to fill it up. Though I am a woman, I do not have the desire to have children. It’s not uncommon. And no it’s not something that I’ll “probably change my mind about later.” A lot of people say that as though my desire to not have children is unethical or taboo. No it’s not selfish either. I rarely hear people say the reverse when a woman says she wants children. You rarely hear, “you’ll probably change your mind later.” I’m making a responsible choice. I tip my hat to those that are and want to be mothers. It’s a lifetime commitment and job. Kudos! I want excellent health and to be able to write a series of New York Times Bestsellers. I want to feel true joy and true bliss. Personally, I feel that at times we don’t know that we’re experiencing it. We realize we have experienced it well after the moment is over. While those are just some of my long term hopes, I’ll share with you some of my short term hopes for summer of 2014.
Eventually, I want to move out of my small town and into another area that is better and has more opportunity for me to grow career wise. I want to be able to realize what my God given purpose is and pursue it. I’d like to get married in a small courthouse ceremony in late spring. I thought I’d be married by the age of 27. Well we all know how that played out. I’ve definitely missed that mark and I’m still single. I’d like to be financially stable with quite a bit of cushion (a healthy savings account). A townhouse or three bedroom condo would be nice. I’m not a big fan of huge houses especially since I don’t want to fill it up. Though I am a woman, I do not have the desire to have children. It’s not uncommon. And no it’s not something that I’ll “probably change my mind about later.” A lot of people say that as though my desire to not have children is unethical or taboo. No it’s not selfish either. I rarely hear people say the reverse when a woman says she wants children. You rarely hear, “you’ll probably change your mind later.” I’m making a responsible choice. I tip my hat to those that are and want to be mothers. It’s a lifetime commitment and job. Kudos! I want excellent health and to be able to write a series of New York Times Bestsellers. I want to feel true joy and true bliss. Personally, I feel that at times we don’t know that we’re experiencing it. We realize we have experienced it well after the moment is over. While those are just some of my long term hopes, I’ll share with you some of my short term hopes for summer of 2014.
My hopes for Summer 2014
Outside of the obvious of good well-being for myself and my family/friends, I’d like to go on a vacation. A vacation that last for at least two days and is outside of a 60 mile radius from where I currently live. I want to let my toes meet the sand of the beach as well. In addition, I want to lose at least 10lbs by the end of the summer. If I could lose more, that would be great. I want to have a day where I do absolutely nothing but lay in bed all day (not because I’m sick) and catch up on every tv sitcom that I would find remotely interesting. I want to buy a potted orchid and watch it grow and develop. When the sun is going down on a perfect summer day, I want to turn on my iPod and dance blissfully in the grass barefoot as I watch the sunset. If it’s God’s will, I want to go to New York City again with expectations from God and not man. This summer I would love to drive into the city and walk the streets with no time limits, but enjoy every minute of it. And while I’m one that doesn’t like to be surprised, I want God to surprise me with something bigger than I could have ever imagined for myself this summer that will make me happier than any day I have yet to experience thus far.
Outside of the obvious of good well-being for myself and my family/friends, I’d like to go on a vacation. A vacation that last for at least two days and is outside of a 60 mile radius from where I currently live. I want to let my toes meet the sand of the beach as well. In addition, I want to lose at least 10lbs by the end of the summer. If I could lose more, that would be great. I want to have a day where I do absolutely nothing but lay in bed all day (not because I’m sick) and catch up on every tv sitcom that I would find remotely interesting. I want to buy a potted orchid and watch it grow and develop. When the sun is going down on a perfect summer day, I want to turn on my iPod and dance blissfully in the grass barefoot as I watch the sunset. If it’s God’s will, I want to go to New York City again with expectations from God and not man. This summer I would love to drive into the city and walk the streets with no time limits, but enjoy every minute of it. And while I’m one that doesn’t like to be surprised, I want God to surprise me with something bigger than I could have ever imagined for myself this summer that will make me happier than any day I have yet to experience thus far.
Does it sound like a lot? I’m sure a few things could be accomplished
while other things are out of my control. I’ve had quite a few rough seasons. I’m
ready for the season of total joy. I’m ready to have a smile on my face not
because I’m thinking and keeping positive of what is yet to come, but I’m
smiling because there is no more waiting and I’m living in some of the moments
that I prayed for most. This summer I want to experience several moments of complete bliss and while I'm in the moment, I'll know I'm experiencing just that.
~Eve
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