I'm not one to be attached to things or people for that matter. I've always been reminded that everything is temporary and will one day fade. However, that doesn't mean that I don't cherish a few earthly things. I love my family and friends and because I'm instructed to, I love my neighbors that test my patience and constantly remind me of why grace was ever created. The one thing that I wear daily is my ring. It's symbolic to my commitment to Christ.
A while ago I was looking for a person to share my heart with. It was placed in my thin fingers outstretched to anyone that was willing to even hold it. Cupped in my hands, I held the fragile piece of myself that no one seemed to want. Disappointed, my arms clasped back towards my chest with the my heart still in my hands. I wanted someone to willingly love me. The love from friends and close family were great, I didn't take it for granted, but I did want someone that was willing to treat my heart delicately and was choosing to make a lifetime commitment to me.
Many times I hear people say, "God is all I need. Jesus you are more than enough. I don't need anything or anyone else." Yet three months later they are crying themselves to sleep because a sense of loneliness looms over them when the lights go out the and facade fades. If God is enough, why are you unsatisfied with your portion?
Around 90% of my friends/family are married of either engaged. Some family members are even on their second and third marriage. While I was happy for them, a little piece of my faith took a shot. I have no problem being honest. The truth was that I didn't understand how they were getting numerous marriage proposals yet I hadn't gotten one, nor at my age had I been able to secure a long term relationship. I wasn't envious, but I was disappointed because I felt as though I was doing something wrong. How long was I going to be the cheerleader instead of being the one cheered for? My friends were married, moving, having children and I was still trying to stay a float on my salary while covering the bills all by myself.
My friends and family tried to sympathize, but how could they? They were married in their early 20s, had someone to split the bills with, and no longer had to play the dating game that got harder each season. All the while, I was trying to keep my sanity and reminding myself that God's plan for me didn't involve the same order in which their life took. Never once did I want to walk in their shoes. But slowly yet surely I felt as though they couldn't relate to me and me to them. They felt it as well. A good friend of mine told meshortly after getting married, "I need to start getting different friends. I need married friends now. I'm out of the single stage and I need a new group of friends I can talk and relate to." Initially, I was taken back by the statement. We'd been friends for years and suddenly my friendship held no rank because I wasn't married? Comments to that caliber continued to pour out from her and slowly yet surely, I realized she was right. I couldn't relate to her nor know the problems she went through as a married woman, no more than she could relate to me as a single woman managing it all by herself. Are we still friends? Sure. Yet we're only able to see life through each other's eyes and realize that being single and married comes with both ups and downs.
So the ring on my finger symbolizes patience and God's timing. It symbolizes that God cherishes my heart and wants it willingly. I don't have to be so eager for marriage and a ring that I jump into the wrong relationship. If it is in the cards for me to get married, this ring will be placed on a necklace and worn everyday as a reminder. If I never get married, it'll stay on my finger as a reminder that I was still chosen and I chose Him too.
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